Despair, Inc.

Demotivator posters

Achievement - You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.

Adversity - That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable

Agony - Not all pain is gain.

Ambition - The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly

Apathy - If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop bugging us.

Arrogance - The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.

Beauty - If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.

Bitterness - Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.

Blame - The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

Burnout - Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.

Change - It's a short trip from riding the waves of change to being torn apart by the jaws of defeat.

Change (winds) - When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.

Cluelessness - There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.

Compromise - Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be

Conformity - When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Consulting - If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Dare to slack - When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.

Defeat - For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.

Delusions - There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams. Except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

Demotivation - Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.

Despair - It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Destiny - You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.

Discovery - A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.

Disloyalty - There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.

Disservice - It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... The good news is that we should run out of them in no time.

Do it Later - The early worm is for the birds.

Doubt - In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.

Dreams - Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.

Dysfunction - The only consistent feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is you.

Effort - Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.

Elitism - It's lonely at the top. But it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.

Failure - When your best just isn't good enough.

Fear - Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.

Flattery - If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.

Futility - You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.

Get to work - You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

Goals - It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.

Hazards - There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.

Humiliation - The harder you try, the dumber you look.

Idiocy - Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Ignorance - It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.

Incompetence - When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

Indifference - It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Individuality - Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.

Ineptitude - If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

Insanity - It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be, especially when you're insane.

Inspiration - Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.

Intimidation - No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.

Irresponsibility - No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.

Laziness - Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.

Leaders - Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.

Limitations - Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.

Loneliness - If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.

Losing - If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

Madness - Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"

Mediocrity - It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference.

Meetings - None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Misfortune - While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.

Mistakes - It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Motivation - If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Nepotism - We promote family values here - almost as often as we promote family members.

Overconfidence - Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.

Persistence - It's over, man. Let her go.

Pessimism - Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.

Planning - Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.

Potential - Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.

Power - Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.

Pressure - It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.

Pretension - The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.

Problems - No matter now great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them.

Procrastination - Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

Quality - The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.

Regret - It hurts to admit when you make mistakes. But when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.

Retirement - Because you've given so much of yourself to the Company that you don't have anything left we can use.

Risks - If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.

Sacrifice - Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.

Sacrifice (Temple) - All we ask here is that you give us your heart.

Strife - As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.

Stupidity - Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.

Success - Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.

Teamwork - A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.

Trouble - Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Underachievement - The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.

Wishes - When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.